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View Full Version : #1 reason to NOT hire Jeff Jones....



KA
04-28-2011, 01:10 PM
Everybody is talking about a cheerleader....yet I remembered something else going on with Melissa Stark.

And voila I was right. Check these gems:

"Virginia messed up when they gave up on Jeff Jones so soon. He's turned out to be an excellent coach. He had success at UVA and is doing wonders at American. Thing is, he bangs co-eds, including Melissa Stark back in the day. It was an issue at UVA. The Melissa Stark stories are legendary. She nearly broke up his marriage. Or maybe she did?



"And we forgot about UVA Coach Jeff Jones banging Melissa Stark in the ass to the point that she was left to suffer through a condition where her anus occasionally just drops out of her like an inside out shirt sleeve, somewhat resembling a Sea Cucumber."


Do we really want this reputation at Mason?

illayin
04-28-2011, 01:19 PM
I just Google image searched "sea cucumber"...I think I'm gonna barf

Patriot2000
04-28-2011, 01:22 PM
I just Google image searched "sea cucumber"...I think I'm gonna barf

try Blue Waffle next

haxormax
04-28-2011, 01:24 PM
you a bad man, patriot.

prolapsed anus, if you're in to that kind of porn... not that I am... but Jollay's search history is still on my Chrome browser

Masonman
04-28-2011, 01:31 PM
try Blue Waffle next

I beg you, save your self. Do not google this. :saddam:

Patriot2000
04-28-2011, 01:31 PM
I beg you, save your self. Do not google this. :saddam:

stop ruining my fun

illayin
04-28-2011, 01:32 PM
haha I already know what it is... I will not be googling that... the top urbandictionary entry is hilarious though


1. (http://blue-waffle.urbanup.com/4713451) Blue waffle 5866 up (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=blue%20waffle#), 1392 down (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=blue%20waffle#)
buy blue waffle mugs, tshirts and magnets (http://www.urbandictionary.com/products.php?term=Blue%20waffle&defid=4713451)
Go to Google.com type in "Blue waffle" and then click the "I'm feeling lucky" button.
Then you'll know what the **** it means >.<
Google blue waffle
google (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=google) blue (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=blue) waffles (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=waffles) don't wan't waffles no more (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=don%27t%20wan%27t%20waffles%20no%2 0more) i'm feeling lucky (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=i%27m%20feeling%20lucky)

gmujim92
04-28-2011, 01:35 PM
KA, I'm not going to hate on Jeff Jones because he banged Melissa Stark and left her with a sea cucumber or blue waffle or whatever.

I've never cheated on my wife ... then again, I've never been a big-time basketball coach (or a big-time anything for that matter) who was surrounded by hot young co-eds throwing themselves at me like dollar bills at a strip club.

Was it a bad thing he did? Yep. But hardly unique, and not exactly a test many coaches are going to be able to pass if TOC throws a "morals" clause into the new coach's contract.

I'm not going to cast judgement on his personal foibles. If he gets the job, wins lots of basketball games and represents the university well while keeping his hands and other appendages away from women easily young enough to be his daughter, I'm willing to leave the past in the past.

Masonman
04-28-2011, 01:37 PM
stop ruining my fun

A "friend" of mine showed me this, left me "lacking physical strength or vigor" for days. :madred:

bravesfan
04-28-2011, 01:39 PM
KA, I'm not going to hate on Jeff Jones because he banged Melissa Stark and left her with a sea cucumber or blue waffle or whatever.

I've never cheated on my wife ... then again, I've never been a big-time basketball coach (or a big-time anything for that matter) who was surrounded by hot young co-eds throwing themselves at me like dollar bills at a strip club.

Was it a bad thing he did? Yep. But hardly unique, and not exactly a test many coaches are going to be able to pass if TOC throws a "morals" clause into the new coach's contract.

I'm not going to cast judgement on his personal foibles. If he gets the job, wins lots of basketball games and represents the university well while keeping his hands and other appendages away from women easily young enough to be his daughter, I'm willing to leave the past in the past.

Mark Gottfried apparently did the same thing and he was just hired on as NC State's new coach. Granted, it probably helped that he's known Debbie Yow for 30 years.

P8triotfan4life
04-28-2011, 01:47 PM
what ever happend to Melissa Stark?

masonevolution
04-28-2011, 02:09 PM
what ever happend to Melissa Stark?

http://lmgtfy.com/?q=melissa+stark&l=1

She's at NBC

KA
04-28-2011, 02:14 PM
KA, I'm not going to hate on Jeff Jones because he banged Melissa Stark and left her with a sea cucumber or blue waffle or whatever.

I've never cheated on my wife ... then again, I've never been a big-time basketball coach (or a big-time anything for that matter) who was surrounded by hot young co-eds throwing themselves at me like dollar bills at a strip club.

Was it a bad thing he did? Yep. But hardly unique, and not exactly a test many coaches are going to be able to pass if TOC throws a "morals" clause into the new coach's contract.

I'm not going to cast judgement on his personal foibles. If he gets the job, wins lots of basketball games and represents the university well while keeping his hands and other appendages away from women easily young enough to be his daughter, I'm willing to leave the past in the past.

It was more tongue and cheek about the second part of that post.

The "How's Melissa's Sea Cucumber?" signs will abound from our foes....

I won't cast judgement its just an issue for his redemption between him, Ms. Stark and her proctologist.

P8triotfan4life
04-28-2011, 02:28 PM
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=melissa+stark&l=1

She's at NBC

man...she's filthy hot. I'd do more than filthy things to that.

haxormax
04-28-2011, 02:35 PM
Yeah, I'd pay her for a figging... look that one up :)

illayin
04-28-2011, 02:37 PM
Yeah, I'd pay her for a figging... look that one up :)

You'd pay her to do that to you? sick ****

MasonNation9000
04-28-2011, 02:43 PM
Lets get charles barkely

bravesfan
04-28-2011, 02:47 PM
Lets get charles barkely

That'd be turrible.

PiKappPatri8
04-28-2011, 03:20 PM
I beg you, save your self. Do not google this. :saddam:

Why why why don't I read the entire threads before I follow suggestions on here? ??????

Good lord I think I lost my mojo.

CentDukesFan
04-28-2011, 03:27 PM
you guys are disgusting

bravesfan
04-28-2011, 03:28 PM
you guys are disgusting

Would you prefer a lemon party?

illayin
04-28-2011, 03:32 PM
Would you prefer a lemon party?

was wondering how long it would take...

GoMasonGo
04-28-2011, 03:46 PM
This thread is terrible. The fact that Jones now has his name associated with it- and the sea cucumber anus thing- make me want to never let him step foot at Mason.

haxormax
04-28-2011, 03:47 PM
Well at least #JeffJones isn't into meat spin.

I don't know why you'd think that JEFF JONES would have his name associated with that kind of stuff.

illayin
04-28-2011, 04:09 PM
Cheerleader: I

Students: I

Cheerleader: I BELIEVE

Students: I BELIEVE

Cheerleader: I BELIEVE THAT

Students: I BELIEVE THAT

Cheerleader: I BELIEVE THAT JEFF

Students: I BELIEVE THAT JEFF

Cheerleader: I BELIEVE THAT JEFF JONES SUCKS

Students: I BELIEVE THAT JEFF JONES SUCKS I BELIEVE THAT JEFF JONES SUCKS I BELIEVE THAT JEFF JONES SUCKS I BELIEVE THAT JEFF JONES SUCKS I BELIEVE THAT JEFF JONES SUCKS I BELIEVE THAT JEFF JONES SUCKS I BELIEVE THAT JEFF JONES SUCKS

Herndon
04-28-2011, 04:12 PM
I like Jeff Jones, I think he's a good coach, and I'd be all about the hire.

patriotfan49
04-28-2011, 04:14 PM
the dreaded pink sock.

illayin
04-28-2011, 04:17 PM
the dreaded pink sock.

i was gonna actually say something about jeff jones pulling out on a donkey punch in my little cheer i put together, but it didn't exactly flow

Gmu_Crew_Econ
04-28-2011, 04:19 PM
Would you prefer a lemon party?

I almost got banned for that one...

Hugh Akston
04-28-2011, 04:53 PM
This is perhaps the single greatest blurb ever written on the CAAZone

where her anus occasionally just drops out of her like an inside out shirt sleeve, somewhat resembling a Sea Cucumber

No, no, no on Jeff Jones. No!

ODU True Blue
04-29-2011, 11:56 AM
Do you guys realize you've been talking about the wrong person this whole thread?

Jeff Jones got run out of town for banging his secretary. Whose family was well connected in C-Ville.

It was Al Groh's (the football coach) son, Mike Groh, that was doing Melissa Stark.

White Noise
04-29-2011, 12:31 PM
ODU True Blue I don't know what's more awesome, your first signature sentence or your second.

KA
04-29-2011, 12:31 PM
Do you guys realize you've been talking about the wrong person this whole thread?

Jeff Jones got run out of town for banging his secretary. Whose family was well connected in C-Ville.

It was Al Groh's (the football coach) son, Mike Groh, that was doing Melissa Stark.

Maybe so then. Like I keep up with all the UVa rumors......like this one:


I once heard a story about Stark from someone I know who went to UVA at the same time she did: had to do with her drinking milk from a bowl like a cat and putting her boyfriend’s sack in her milk-filled mouth. Called it “churgling”. I never really figured out the positioning, but it definitely intrigued me. And the story came from a girl, not a guy (so I’m more prone to believe it).

or

There was a non-stop rumor - which I choose to believe is true - that was going around in 2001. It involved Melissa's ummmm.... "interest" in lacrosse players (insert Duke joke here) when she attended the University of Virginia. Anyway, ***rumor has it*** that she had a boyfriend at another school, and she wanted to stay true to him, but she SOOOO loved lacrosse players. What to do.... what to do?

She decided, staying true to her boyfriend, to take on the lacrosse team, one-by-one, ummm..... errrrr..... in the Brokeback hole. Do a search of the rec.sport.football.fantasy newsgroup from about 2001 using her name. You'll see the discussion.

gmujim92
04-29-2011, 01:34 PM
So what you're saying, KA, is that Stark's "sea cucumber" thing was accurate, but that it wasn't Jones' fault?

Sounds like Melissa should've glued to her ass one of those "take a number" machines like you see at the deli ... not that there's anything wrong with that.

KA
04-29-2011, 02:04 PM
So what you're saying, KA, is that Stark's "sea cucumber" thing was accurate, but that it wasn't Jones' fault?

Sounds like Melissa should've glued to her ass one of those "take a number" machines like you see at the deli ... not that there's anything wrong with that.

Well I thought the whole issue was her and him.....

Maybe I'm wrong..maybe he's right. Not something I care about proving either way.....

No matter what...seems like MS was a party favorite!

masonevolution
04-29-2011, 03:06 PM
Well I thought the whole issue was her and him.....

Maybe I'm wrong..maybe he's right. Not something I care about proving either way.....

No matter what...seems like MS was a party favorite!

From my research, it definitely was a sh*tty situation. Boom.

For those who don't know it:

http://images.askmen.com/galleries/model/melissa-stark/pictures/melissa-stark-picture-2.jpg

gmu84fan
04-30-2011, 11:51 AM
This thread should have been shut down with the sea cucumber and/or blue waffle reference and hyperlink (yes I looked and I may not ever be the same!) and now with ODU True Blue's assertion that it might not have been Jeff Jones at all. There may be lots of reasons not to hire Jeff Jones but this might not be one of them. I think it is time to shut this thread down.

psyclone
04-30-2011, 11:58 AM
agree with 84

Patriot2000
04-30-2011, 05:33 PM
there was no link to the blue waffle. If you were dumb enough to seek it out, that's your problem. ;)

KA
04-30-2011, 05:34 PM
Guess we don't need a #1 reason now?

Patriot2000
04-30-2011, 05:39 PM
#1 reason - We already hired someone else

TEN4TEN
04-30-2011, 07:00 PM
#1 reason is that the Jeff Jones interview rumor was just that: a (false) rumor.

UofRfan
05-01-2011, 04:59 AM
Googled Mike Groh and Melissa Stark and found another term I am not sure if it was mentioned here...."pink sock".